I have a confession to make…
I have committed murder. That’s right… you heard me. I have taken a life. Not just one but countless lives.
I have both prompted murder and I have put the knife in someone’s heart myself, feeling the surprise and pain in their eyes as I thrust it deeper. I have lusted after wives and whores aplenty. Slept with many and paid for more. I have drunk my measure of cheap wine in the company of frostbitten waifs and strays; and exquisite malts with rich and sweaty bankers.
I have eaten meagre meals with wrinkled widows on linoleum tablecloths and feasted on life’s blood. I have abandoned children just to see the look on their faces, and left orphans to rot in the hell of their despair. I have judged others harshly and spoken ill of many. I have been judged and have been found to be wanting, time and time again.
I have perjured to save my soul and I have lied to silence it. I have prayed to God in hell and Lucifer in heaven, desecrating both in the same breath. I have befriended ghosts and forgotten the living.
I have fallen in love. Yes, that too. And made others love me.
I have stolen hearts, and been hurt by the one I love. I have cried my fill of tears and worn them on my sleeve. I have been drunk with the sheer ecstasy of giving and receiving pleasure. I have laughed with friends on a sultry summer evening and walked through the labyrinth of emotions, sometimes wandering and often just wondering.
Do I regret the pain and heartache I have caused? No, I revel in the perversity of it. It is what gives my drinking sustenance.
Am I proud of the happiness I have brought? No, because it is but one side of life.
All these things I have thought in the name of the one thing I love…
Barkeep! Another large one…
This piece was written for a competition being run by a true wordsmith, www.literatureandlibation.com. Thank you for taking the time out to run this Oliver!